Shi no Yume v.4.0 the demon

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Sunday, November 2, 2003
Playlist: Sailing Days - Bump of Chicken

Went grocery shopping yesterday (spent a crap load of money), and bought UDON!! Udonudonudonudonudonudonudonudon!!! I LOVE udon! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Yummy udon! *hearts* *sparkles* *etc.* And they were only 59c each! *shining eyes* Udon is my favorite favorite food in the world~

11:45 a.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Friday, October 31, 2003
Playlist: Suzanne Vega - Tom's Diner

I'M BACK!! (and the name of my new harddrive is "boyslut"; the computer is still named "Draco")

10:08 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Playlist: Kiss of Life - Hirai Ken

FUCK! I'm shedding! *glower*

10:05 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Taking this chance that I have a computer in front of me (albeit not my Dra-chan *cries*), I shall update on some of the more factual parts of my life, the part that's not going "ohmygodkillmenowtoescapemymiseryletmedieletmediecrycrycry", although it's just as annoying. The landlord found out about Melissa, and now I have to get the whole renting thing sorted out. Under the lease my mom signed, there was nothing about it being illegal for me to sublet, but the lease is still the one with just my mom and my name on it, so we need to talk to the rent board and figure out what our options are, now that I know the landlady can't kick Melissa out. We'll have to negotiate about Keiko too, cos our lease forbade pets... >__> We'll also have to bring up the matter about the leaking gas heater (got turned off by PG&E), the bad stove with the unworking oven, the rats in between the walls... and lots of other things. Got a jury duty summons in the mail for my mom, which puzzles me because I distinctly remember my mom having to go to the county SEVERAL times to explain to them that she's not a citizen and therefore cannot serve as a juror, and asked them to take her off whatever list they got her name from. Of course, now I live in annoyance of the day a jury summons comes for ME, and I'd have to send it back and tell them to TAKE ME OFF THE FRICKIN' LIST.

Taking birth control is having no obvious affect on me that I can see. (except, you know, mood swings and depression and all that other good chemical stuff) I barely remember what the doctor said it would achieve. And I don't see that my skin looks better than it usually does. On top of that, in the morning I wake up with sore... um... yeah. Also, my cravings have gotten stronger during flo. Stupid medication. Look at the time, I should go take it now.

09:15 p.m.

I suddenly want to have a baby. Then, I'd know someone needed me.

crap, pitas went down again, and I lost some of my recent entries, not that they were very recent, seeing my own computer has been down for... a week and a half now. See me not complaining anymore. See me morose. See me STUDYING for a change. >__> I hate my life. (and that isn't a statement based merely on the fact that my computer is down) Not having a computer gives me the free time I used to have, when all I did was THINK during my free time. That also happened to be one of the most depressing periods of my life. Thinking is bad for me. I shouldn't use my brain.

my god, Godiva Belgian Dark Chocolate ice cream is such good depressing comfort food. imagine someone stuffing their face with the stuff and having floods of tears running down their face. Goes very well together, doesn't it? You have to try the stuff to know what I mean.

and right now? Don't think I need alone time. I need distractions. Thinking is bad for me, because I can practically convince myself of anything, and I do things on a whim sometimes. Think about that. I'm a danger to myself. Seriously.

08:58 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
Playlist: [none]

God, Chinese 7A. I think even if I were to go in with 10 hours of sleep, I'd still manage to nod off. It's just so horribly easy.

So, I ended up doing choice #2, even though I hadn't meant to, because after I did my math homework, and started on some of the psych reading, the room got effin cold, and my reading light was too bright, and I just wanted to wrap something around myself and curl up in the dark. So, without thinking, I lay down on my bed, and the next thing I knew, my alarm clock was trilling (more like screeching) 8 o'clock, and I was late for math discussion again. I just skipped that and went to Chinese 7A lecture. I usually prop my forehead on my hands, so that the prof. can't see that my eyes are closed, except the desks are too small, and my elbow always slip off every 10 minutes, and I'll jerk awake. Very unhealthy way of napping, that. But, anyway, I got a little more done than I expected, and I'm pretty optimistic about stuff this week.

I finally got some financial aid stuff sorted out today. Since I'm living at home, my budget had to be readjusted, and I'll probably have to pay the University back the money they dumped into my bank account. It's horrible to have to climb the steps to Sproul Hall, though. My right ankle grumbles a lot when I put too much pressure on it, and my left leg is starting to complain about putting my weight on it. My lower back hurts too, like the beginning of bad cramps, except I know I'm not supposed to have them just yet. Life sucks physically, time for herbal-based Chinese painkillers.

12:49 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Monday, October 6, 2003
Playlist: i've lost the use of my speakers

I have, before me, a hard decision to make.

the circumstances: Skipped class this morning, slept till noon, read Monstrous Regiment aside from the 1.5 hour or so that I was participating in an RPP experiment, have done no work.

the choices:
1) go to bed like a good little girl RIGHT NOW and get 7 hours of sleep and then get up to go to class and work like mad for the rest of the day to catch up on work.
2) putter about some more, do my math homework, then get 2-3 hours of sleep before going to class and work like mad for the rest of the day to catch up on work.
3) drink lots of coffee, consume a fair amount of sugar, do my math homework, do my psychology reading, do my Chinese 7A reading, leave the house early to get a real cup of coffee before class begin, go to class and sleep through half of it, work like mad for the rest of the day to catch up on work, and maybe nap a bit intermittenly.

Choice #3 definitely sounds like a productive plan. I dislike having to cheat my sleep, because I'm just not as good as I used to be at doing without it. I also dislike the physical affects it has on my face. I look pale and pinched and bags show most visibly under my eyes. It also won't help my twisted ankle, which gets worse when I don't have any rest. (the twisted ankle happened last Thursday morning, when I tried to leap out of bed at 7:30 - read: 1/2 hour before class and definitely way too late - and landed on my right foot wrong and things just progressed from there - from a lot of cussing on my part to an eventual decision to just go back to bed as there was no way in hell I could walk properly - and now it's not so bad but it hurts when I use it too much and don't get enough sleep/staying in one place for long period of time)

11:25 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Sunday, October 5, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Two super-duper-uber cool things happened within the last hour. One, I'm talking to Maryam over AIM (an uber-cool thing in itself), and I am informed that she is coming back home for Thanksgiving (also uber-cool), and I am invited to spend Thanksgiving with her and her family~~ *glee* So I say yes, of course, because even though a lot of people have asked me to spend Thanksgiving with them, this is the first offer that I've felt sure about.

The second super-duper-uber cool thing that happened was that Melissa came home with two copies of Terry Pratchett's new book Monstrosus Regiment, both signed, and one's for me!!! XDXD I had no idea the book was out already~~

And in Maryam's words, "GEEZUS you're so effin excited." Why yes, yes I am.

06:58 p.m.

Joe is always ripping up his art work when he's not satisfied with it. I could never imagine doing that.

This morning, I woke up from a dream I had about my mom. She was alive, she wasn't blind, my parents were still married, and we lived close enough to our relatives that we could see them anytime we wanted to. It was a very nice dream, and I probably woke up not entirely right in the head. Halfway through brushing my teeth, the more practical and realistic part of my mind kicked down the wall and started asking about whether or not Mom was still alive or blind and whether we really did live close to my relatives, and well, the pleasant afterhaze of the dream ended there. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like crying.

Then I discovered a piece of drawing I did, probably within the last two years, amidst the random pile of things in my room that I've yet to clean up. It was wrinkled and crumpled, and I scrutinized the drawing I did. I came to the conclusion that I didn't really like it all that much now, and that there was really no point in keeping a wrinkled piece of art. I thought about throwing it away. I couldn't bring myself to toss it into the garbage can. I loathe throwing any creation of mine away. Then I thought about exactly when I'd done this particular drawing. Mom was still alive then. She still cooked, still worked, and wasn't going to the hospital every other day. So then, I tore up the drawing and tossed it into the garbage can. And afterwards I felt even worse than I did before.

Joe, I don't know how you do it; it's like ripping out a piece of my body, throwing away my art.

12:49 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Saturday, October 4, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Dear friends and other readers of mine... hide your eyes, for the following is not for you.

Get it through your heads, people! Snape is NOT a sex god! Alan Rickman may be good-looking, but lank greasy hair and sallow skin does NOT make anyone want to do the stickystickyhothot with Severus Snape!!!

*venting the frustrations of catching up on a month's worth of Veela Inc. Digests*

06:04 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Wednesday, October 1, 2003
Playlist: Love Tropicana - (Guu OP) Sister Mayo

What I had today: 3 tuna sandwiches (XD;;;), some chocolates, two glasses of orange juice, an orange.
Hey, I'm improving! :D

So, last night, while I'm ~~cramming~~studying for the psych midterm, I rubbed at my left eye. Now, my left eye differs from my right eye in that my left has a single eyelid, while my right has a double, so my left eye will look a little smaller, to the attuned observer (this may be related to why my eyes have two different prescriptions). Sometimes when I rub at my left eye, the loose fold in the eyelid might do something weird and double up to temporarily become a double eyelid. As I was saying, I rubbed at my left eye, and the eyelid that had for 18 years of my life been a single, became a double. And it hasn't gone away yet. So, now I have double eye-lids on both eyes. My left eye feels weird, like the eyelid's been stretched. It's a little harder to lift up my left eyelid than my right, because now my muscles have to deal with the pressure of a layered lid. It's uncomfortable when I try to open my eyes wider, but that's probably just because I'm not used to it. It looks good though... ^^;;; My left eye no longer looks to be smaller than my right eye. *sigh* but it's so uncomfortable... maybe more sleep will help.

11:59 p.m.

Thursday 10/2: Theatre Rice first performance, 7:30 p.m., 155 Dwinelle Hall
Friday 10/3: Finding Nemo, 7:30 p.m., Wheeler Auditorium
Friday 10/10: Terry Pratchett book signing/reading, 7:30 p.m., Cody's Books

My distractions for the next two weeks. :D cheers~

11:44 a.m.

I suspect the psych 1 midterms are going to be the only midterms where I won't be braindead afterwards. Still, I didn't have a chance to study everything (read: I fell asleep studying last night), so there were a LOT of problems that I did sketchy guesswork on. *crossesfingers*

Watching TeniPuri makes me sparkle and want to go and play some badminton RIGHT NOW, and play until I drop. On a significantly lower level, it also makes me want to go running until my legs fall off. Sitting around doing nothing but study and be hungry and gag at the sight of food is NOT doing anything for my health. But, alas, badminton is not to be, for these few weeks at least, because I have so much catch up work to do. (not to mention, er, more midterms in two weeks) But when I do go, finally, to play, I think I want to work on my singles. *starry-eyed* I want to improve my stamina for singles, and, to a certain extent, for doubles (because not every partner will be as good as Cindy was). By now, my arm muscles are probably flab again, and it'll take some time to get my smash back, as well as the high clears, but... *drifts off into badminton-land* Waaaaahhhh, I want to play so badly... ;_____; I shall just have to live it vicariously through, er, TeniPuri.

Also, speaking of TeniPuri, the vcds I bought in China appear to be first season only, and some of the ep. don't even work. So, am DLing off BT; is so slow... *eyes the 1000+MB currently inching its way up to... 43%* *resists the urge to throttle computer* Ah, well, at least I got all of Jungle wa Itsumo Hale Nochi Guu, excluding the OVAs.

11:26 a.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Tuesday, September 30, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Bills and finances are such a hassle to deal with, especially the night before a midterm, when I should be studying. But! I've put them off for long enough, and they take up floor space because I leave them lying around. Therefore, I spent an hour or so just now dealing with them. My conscience is so much cleaner now. :D

And today, I had a curry chicken rice plate! And some chocolates. And yes, that IS it for the day. I am currently warding off possible hunger signs from the stomach by drinking large quantities of lychee tea.

Now, back to studying~ Psychology is so fun... when you're not cramming. But the things you learn from just reading a textbook are fascinating. Already, Jennifer and I have determined that Eugene has athlete's euphoria, an addictive condition where a person becomes high off of his own body's hormones.

Study study go go go! (^^; you can tell the sugar's gotten to me)

07:31 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Monday, September 29, 2003
Playlist: Kang Ta

Today, I ate... a salad! And some ice cream. I'm too full.

08:07 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Sunday, September 28, 2003
Playlist: Shell - Witch Hunter Robin OP

:D I love it when Melissa randomly gets Pria bars for me, and Double Chocolate Cookie it is, too! Oh Pria bar, thou art placating balm to my rebellious stomach, especially when thou art made of huge amounts of chocolate~~ <3 <3 So nice to know that I can still enjoy my Pria bar (and chocolate), and it's nutritious too~ Holy Pria bar oh holy Pria bar, thou shalt be my sustenance for the rest of the day. *sparkles with love*

03:55 p.m.

GODDAMMIT I DON'T NEED FOOD GET THAT GROCERY BAG THE HELL AWAY FROM ME RAWRGH!!! *snarl*

*pause*

*reaches desperately for barf-bag*

Which is why I said NOT to get any food for me, except my dad went ahead and got three bags of salad anyway. Oh well, at least I can look at salad without gagging. And water. Water is good.

And yes, it is most definitely the PILL acting on me this way. Goddammit I don't want to be taking a birth control pill unless I have a relevant reason for it. *snark*

03:24 p.m.

XP I think I'm sick. Not in the sneezing/coughing/all-around-miserable sort of way, but more in the "... was that a wave of nausea just now?" sort of way. It's vague, and subtle, and unsettling me because I can't get an idea of exactly where I'm sick. All I know for sure right now is that I'm constantly hungry (maybe? my stomach sure feels weird, but I don't know if it's hunger), but I don't feel like eating (in fact, I've developed a grimacing reaction to the sight of food), and every once in a while, I groan for no apparent reason (except, y'know, that could just be all the work I have piled up, and NOT that my stomach just wriggled). I'm debating on whether or not to take some of the pain medicine that I brought back from China (herbal-based, so really no side-affects), but I only have a limited supply (two bottles), and I don't like to take more medicine than I have to.

And, yes, you did, in fact, read the time correctly (if you ever notice that sort of thing, and if you haven't, I just called your attention to it), it IS 9 am on a Sunday morning, and I have been up for an hour. I have already showered, brushed my teeth, and had breakfast (does half a glass of orange juice count?). I shall go forth and study for the Psych 1 midterm! (and maybe be a little sick on the side)

09:00 a.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Friday, September 26, 2003
Playlist: Future - Prince of Tennis OP

OMG HE'S COMING TO BERKELEY!!! TERRY PRATCHETT IS COMING TO CODY'S BOOKS ON OCTOBER 10TH TO PROMOTE MONSTROUS REGIMENT AND READ/SIGN!!!!! *frothfrothfrothfroth*

05:46 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Playlist: [none]

So, apparently, I have a 'bitch-shield'. It means I don't get stalked, or have weird people bother me when I go out. That's very interesting... very interesting indeed...

=D of course, what's more interesting is that everyone the Google search for the Chiranands yields up is related to Vinita and Nont. I'm way past amused by this, for reasons I'm not sure I've the words to explain.

Last day in China today, I'm not sure whether to cry or be glad that I'm finally going to be able to catch up on homework. We had dinner with the family members around here, although it was by no means the entire "clan". I mean, there's Tommy in England, Simeon in Nanjing (well, most recently in Africa), Zixiao in Canton, Shiyang in, er... (ok, I'm not quite sure where he is...), and Tommy's parents currently in Beijing. And uh, Mom and grandparents, beyond the Nine Springs... Anyhow, there are too many people gone. It didn't feel like a family dinner of old. I was the only non-married present from the, er, younger generation. I kept on wondering what the hell I was doing there, being totally out of place without more cousins to balance me out. Oh well, tomorrow is back to being busy myself. "To fill the hour, that is happiness" is true indeed when you're bored shitless.

Got dragged into this huge market for electronics and such (where I got my anime last time) cos Dad wanted to buy some software. Ended up watching a bit of Beast Wars on one of the computers (yes, I'm a dork, I LIKED Beast Wars; I wish I had the entire TV series), getting One Piece and Wolf's Rain anime, as well as Identity (damn good movie, that was), and four Japanese horror films on one disc. Oh, and a webcam. *waits to be bombarded* *whistles innocently* It's going to be in Chinese, though, so I might have some problems with it at first, but I should adjust fine. I mean, after all, Eugene's entire system is in Chinese... >__> I'll cope. I'll even get used to the fact that my RealPlayer is all in Chinese now. So, anyway, Eugene, I expect some help when I get back, cos, y'know, I know nothing about webcams.

Ok, I'm going to bed because I can't STAND being constantly talked at by my aunt. Talked AT, mind you, as if she didn't know I'm trying to write something here. Ladies and gentlemen, behold one of the traits of the Sun Clan: loquaciousness, to an extreme. It pops up most often in the women, and gets worse with age.

10:38 p.m.

William Chu, you are a sweetie pie. My mom always said you were a good kid. Thanks mucho. :D

10:35 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Playlist: [none]

So, I saw a gynecologist last night, cos apparently all my relatives have ~~connections~~ friends in the most convenient fields. This one told me a lot more about my condition. Enlightened, I now am. No, not really. I do know that my hormones are imbalanced, causing me to have more TSH than is normal, and my ratio of FSH to LH is 1:2, when they should be 1:1. Apparently, she was the one who prescribed Diane-35 (the birth control) to me, but she wasn't the one who prescribed Avandia (the med for diabetics). The doctor told me that Avandia was actually unnecessary but it was fine if I kept taking it anyway, and that Diane-35 will balance out my male/female hormones. She said, and I quote (in translation), "During the period that you're taking this medicine, your voice will become thinner and higher, your skin will become smoother, you'll lose some unnecessary body hair..." and so on and et cetera. In other words, expect me to act like a GIRL in the recent future, and be all weepy and sensitive and cry, "Oh you!" and smack people lightly on the arm and do various other things that extreme females do. And in reference to a conversation I had with Vinita regarding the snotty nature of my computer, I shall be FIXED!! FIXED will I be!

Anyway, I don't know whether to be pleased or scowl. Somehow, I feel like I might be different with a normal female hormone balance. I mean, I've always taken a weird sort of pride in the fact that I'm not that feminine, that I don't screech and scream at the little stuff, that I'm not giggly and don't blush easily, that I don't go gaga over lingerie (pardone me, Missy), and random sorts of stuff like that. It helps define the person that I am. Will I be different from now on? Someone tell me in a month's time.

02:34 p.m.

Haier Home Appliances, the maker of countless air conditioners in the not-quite-third-world-country of China. See their website. See the Flash display at the lower right corner. See the half nekkid Asian boy arm in arm with the half nekkid blond boy (commonly known as a FOREIGNER no matter where they're from). See how they wear little briefs. Now, Haier has been around forever, and I remember seeing its products around when last I was in China for an extended visit (more specifically, 1999), but that was before I'd read Yu Yu Hakusho and developed gaydar, so I thought nothing of it. Now, given that hand-holding and hugging and such forms of affection are merely displays of friendship in certain Asian countries, and that China has always been all for improving foreign relations and such (neverminding that some Chinese people still call the Americans and the Japanese insulting names), the logo shouldn't be so... amusing to me, but it is, because once yaoi-minded, always yaoi-minded. Damn, I wish I could find a larger picture and show it off in all its ~~nekkid~~ *cough* glory.

01:53 p.m.

Know what? I'm really stressed out. And when I think that I'm going to undertake one of the hardest majors at Cal, I get even more stressed out. I want to do something relaxing with my life, have time for introspection, have time to work in a garden or something. I don't want to do something where I have to consciously apply myself to be interested. I want to do something that will pull me from the deepest of slums, whether I like it or not, BECAUSE it interests me so much.

And screw it, Mom never wanted me to become a doctor anyway.

10:18 a.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Playlist: [none]

My two methods-of-comfort of choice: 1) *COMFORT* from Nont, which was novel and expressed more than words can, and 2) a pat on the head from Eugene, which made me think "wtfhaveIjustturnedintoathree-yearold?" to myself in a vague and non-hostile manner. I also got emails from Maryam, Melissa, Sherry, and Eugene, which was really nice.

So... I dunno. I don't have much to say about the actual funeral and everything before it. But the two sides of the family got into a bit of a row over my decision to not wait for my dad to come back for the funeral. The reason was that my dad wouldn't have come back until Tuesday, which I thought was too late. It was alright to not wait for him, since my parents are divorced anyway, but I guess my dad's family were offended by that. Some of them yelled at me a lot, which shocked me, because I hadn't thought that I'd done anything wrong, and right now, even if most of them still treat me like I'm precious to them, I'm not sure how my uncle feels about me. Anyway, it's a whole rotten can of worms that I've put a tight cap on, and I don't want to think about it too much. My perspective about my family is changing, and I don't like to think about how much it has altered. I feel a lot of irrational fear regarding this issue, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So, about the meds I was taking... early early morning after the funeral, I woke up with this horrendous pain in my abdomen, and aloha, it turned out to be auntie flo with a bad case of cramps. So, hello, birth control pills, goodbye, sanity. Some of my aunts (on my dad's side of the family) are really happy for me, because they were the ones who ~~dragged~~took me to the hospital last time. Anyway, suffice to say that all day yesterday was painful and involved a lot of inactivity. I still can't walk a lot without having to sit down, but it's getting better.

Eh, what else? I'll be back on Friday? That's it, mostly. Oh, and I can't seem to install AIM on this computer (I'm with my dad's family now), so I can't talk to people :(

03:54 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Playlist:

Mom died. Will be in China for the next week or so.

03:08 a.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
Playlist:

>___________< It is almost 3:30 p.m. and my chem midterm is in 2.5 hours. I am beginning to feel just a little nervous. I will probably do ok with all the fundamentals, but there are a lot of stuff in recent lectures that I still don't have a good grasp of, yet. I'm trying to convince myself that if I understood the lecture, and can do the homework problems, then I'll be ok, except the recent lectures were more like a vague memory of high school chemistry, floating nightmarishly out of the shadowed recesses of my mind. >__>; so, I think that at least I'll be able to guess some answers on the test based on the understanding that I have. Chemical nomenclature is a total bitch to me, though, and I'll just have to deal with it as best as I can. Other than that, my only worries are that I'll makes some stupid mistakes (and I will, oh believe me, I will) and cost me some easy points...

*shudder* I will go read some T.S. Eliot, to calm myself, because if I think about the midterm any longer, that queasy feeling in my stomach will just get worse.

03:27 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Monday, September 15, 2003
Playlist: [none]

have three layouts in mind:
1) pomegranate-in-the-snow layout [been thinking about that for waaaay too long]
2) anime semi-animal mascots and their grown-up counterparts (or maybe their human counterparts?) [>D I realized that they were too many of them, like Puu-chan, Q-chan, With, Ryo-o-ki, Fuujin, Babbit, the potted cactus in YnM, Sai... XD;; ok, kill me for that last one]
3) a Gravitation layout, with either Shuichi or Ryuichi singing [cos no matter what a slobbering fool Shuichi is, or how dumb Ryuichi is when he's not performing, they look serious when they sing; I dunno, it's powerful]

11:49 p.m.

upon skimming through the FLCL manga
me: O_________O OMGWTF is this s~~hit~~tuff?!

10:35 p.m.

Borrowed books from library today:
Complete Poems and Plays 1909-1950 T.S. Eliot
The Invisible Poet: T.S. Eliot Hugh Kenner
The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and other Clinical Tales Oliver Sacks [cos I've been meaning to read that for a long time and what's a better time than now?]
The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents Terry Pratchett [Terry Pratchett is too hilarious to pass up]
Stardust Neil Gaiman [do I even need to give a reason???]

09:53 p.m.

You know how, sometimes, in a house that looks like a hurricane swept through, there's that one or two spots where you've managed to kept chaos from reigning, where it looks clean, organized, stuff-piled-in-neat-little-stacks sort of way? And you know how, if you had something important that you didn't want lost in the mess but you HAD to put it down somewhere momentarily, you'd place it in that one little spot of cleaniness? And then, after 5 minutes, you come back, and that important document has managed to merge into the background and somehow made the spot look messier than all the rest of the house combined.

... I hate it when that happens.

09:35 p.m.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from." - T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets"
Sunday, September 14, 2003
Playlist: MaLoki ED - (Miki Shinichiro) Believe in Heaven

XDXD;; WhiteCat, you are my savior! *scraps and tugs at forelock* Thanks so much for hosting! ;___;

*stares fondly at blog pic* gosh, I haven't seen it for so long...

10:12 p.m.

I archived. And then I realized that I really shouldn't have done it when the pic was still dead... >__> need to find a host soon, if the current host stays dead...

09:49 p.m.