When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Friday, April 11, 2003
Playlist: some random Japanese song off of the album Maryam got me for Xmas-dunno song title, dunno artist name...

Lalala~ So, I'm back from the Wellesley trip! Well, I liked the place, buuuuuuttt... I'm going to Berkeley. Haha, big surprise, yeah right. Whatever. I had lots of thoughts about this whole decision-making process, but what it basicallky boiled down to was: yuh, I like Wellesley, yuh, I like the east coast, yuh, I like snow, buuuuuut... I like Berkeley [home] more! After the first day there, I felt like I knew all I needed to know about Wellesley. I mean, I was practically guiding all the other students around the campus, puttering about from building to building until I got us to where we needed to go. The people I was with kept on asking me if I'd been to Wellesley before. I guess the dorms were nice, pretty average, meal plan was "good", for New England food, that is... ugh... they can't made rice right... anyway, so I sat in on an abnormal psychology class, turned around in the middle of the period, and shuddered at the utter lack of boys. They say it's not a problem, because all the guys from MIT and Harvard and other schools come over to Wellesley on the weekends to party, but still, I don't think I can get used to having class without the idiocy of boys. The thing is... I don't want to turn into a Wellesley girl... there's just this attitude they seem to all have about boys... can't quite put my finger on it, but I know it's what I don't want to be... I'll lose all my carefully cultured vulgarity if I go to Wellesley. Anyway I'm not making much sense, but when I realized, halfway through the first day, that I was hearing the Campanile bells in my head the entire time I walked around the Wellesley campus. From then on, I became quite... homesick for Berkeley. Looking at the snow-covered fields made me remember when Maryam and I lounged on the Memorial Glade in front of the UCB Doe Library in the WARM SUN and watching people named Al and Scott (who was half-naked) play frisbee. Seeing a Wellesley student smoke a cigarette reminded me of when Maryam and I watched a homeless man rolled a joint right in the middle of UCB campus. Going in and out of the campus chapel reminded me of Campanile (ok, so there's no comparison, but the chapel was the closest I could find to a bell tower). Eating the crappy food reminded me of how much variety I'm missing out. Wandering up to the Japanese department table reminded me that in UC Berkeley, I'm likely to find a much bigger anime community. There were also other little stuff, like bad lighting in the dorms, the fact that my mom AND my cat will be staying in Berkeley, and how inaccessible certain stuff will be (*cough*AsianMall*cough*). I'm not too hot about Boston either. Not my type of city. I think the only big city in America I'll ever really like is San Francisco and Seattle. So, all in all, I waxed nostalgic about Berkeley, couldn't wait until I got on the plane (although that could just be me loving flying so much), and fell asleep at the panels meetings every chance I got... The first day I was there, I slept through the morning introductory speech, nodded off during the academic panel discussion, barely stifled my yawns through some of the special classes they held during Spring Open Campus (like the Economics one; the professor, Karl "Chip" Case, was one of the two guys who wrote the Econ textbook I had last year, but alas, even that wasn't enough to capture my attention). It's just so HARD not to fall asleep! Wellesley is interesting enough, but I was forced to be there for too long. Well, I did genuinely like a lot of the aspects of Wellesley, but all put together, it couldn't beat back my homesickness, even if it had a big stick.

So, I couldn't get on the plane fast enough. I talked with a lot of people whose visit seemed to have cinched their decision for them: they were going to Wellesley! *rolls eyes* right, whatever, great for them. I also got a chance to talk with a couple of Wellesley students from the dorm I was staying at (using time gained from skipping planned Open Campus events to lounge in the dorm and watch TV with Wellesley students who weren't even trying to study for midterms XD), and it seemed like a lot of them were against Bush. Hah. Anyway, I spent most of the two flights home (layover in Atlanta) with my face plastered against the window, and I've decided that I'm the sort of girl who has her eyes glued to the window when the plane starts running and doesn't unpeel herself until the plane lands some hours later. I did that today. Stared at the clouds, stared at the ground below, stared at the sky, stared at the clouds somemore, wished I could fly, wished the clouds were more substantial so I could jump on them, stuff like that. Ah, well, I'm home now. Berkeley, yay.

so hopefully everything will go well
10:56 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Friday, April 4, 2003
Playlist: [none]

^_^ I'm quite happy today, although there were some bad news early on in the day and in the afternoon. Let's see, bad news first: I got rejected from Yale (expected) and Dartmouth (not expected but also not quite surprised either), and waitlisted by Cornell (O_o). It actually makes my life a little easier, not having those choice available. Sure, I was disappointed, but, I got happier about it. *smile* I spent hours at Barnes & Noble today, reading books. I read a couple of chapters from The Scarlet Pimpernel, a couple of manga, and about a hundred pages from Kushiel's Avatar, which is finally out!! I feel lighter than I have in weeks, although that could just be ascribed to the fact that it's Spring Break next week, and no more math tests until the final. Yare yare! So, right now my college choices are UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC Davis, Wellesley, and Bryn Mawr. All in all, not too bad. I think my final choices will be either Cal or Wellesley, though, the former because it's, well, right there *points*, and the latter because they're giving me SO MUCH MONEY. Anyway, next Tuesday morning I leave for an all-expense-paid trip to visit Wellesley, and probably will not be back until Friday. Maa, what a way to spend spring break. Yah, I don't want to think about college right now. It's good enough that I got into Cal.

I think Kodomo no Omocha is definitely on my next-to-get manga list. ^^ I've forgotten how fun it is. I read a bit of Mars too. Mars is nice, I read part of it a long time ago, but I never followed up on it. It's pretty messed up, but it's a wonderful love story nevertheless. Usually, you don't read love stories about people with such intense problems like that. Kinda depressing though, since it's not exactly a feel-good type of story. I enjoyed Kodocha a lot more. Ah, Sana and Hayama Akito, so very amusing. XD I'm definitely ordering Kodocha when I go pick up RELOAD. I think I will also see if I can order Wild Adaptor and Executive Committe as well. And Stigma. Definitely Stigma, even if there is a scary child-Sanzo look-alike in it. Tit, his name is... >__> Looks like Sanzo, acts like Goku... how...creepy. Haha, no, not really, I think, once you get used to it. Ah, I'll also need to order Petshop of Horrors #10, to complete my collection. And I need more of Yami no Matsuei and Tokyo Crazy Paradise as well. *shakes head* That's a lot. Too much, perhaps. I might not be able to order more of GetBackers any time soon, even though vol.3 ended in the middle of an interesting story. I think what finally grabbed my attention about Get Backers, and got me really into the series (whereas I was kinda half-heartedly trudging through all the text before) was the part where Ban played the violin... ^-^;;; That part, and the part where Pore was talking about the first time Ginji stepped into Honky Tonk Cafe (I love that name, Honky Tonk ^^). So, as much as I'm getting to like GetBackers, I think I'll hold off a while before I order anymore. (it's going to be a problem trying NOT to search for the GB fandom so as not to spoil myself).

Wow, I got far off topic. However, I don't think I want to share my thoughts anymore. I'm just happy knowing that I'm happy.

humming a little tune
11:14 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Wednesday, April 2, 2003
Playlist: [none]

God, if I had some good pictures of Kurikara, I'd work my butt off to make a layout based on him. I might even get off my lazy ass and make a shrine to him. I want Kurikara! Gimme gimme gimme!!! God, I want to take a bite out of him.

09:29 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Wednesday, April 2, 2003
Playlist: [none]

I saw somebody who looked like Ryohei the other day. He was cute. Ivy's math analysis book had the name Keita in it. Weird.

I want to just sleep for a couple of lifetimes. Go away, life! Go away, people! Go away, problems! *whimpers* I want to get my ears pierced! Ok, I'm rambling.

Happy late birthday, Joe.

09:06 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Wednesday, April 2, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Aaaaa, I'm so unmotivated right now. There's a lot of work to be done before spring break (next week) but I can't find the willpower to do it. Right now, I'm thinking, "What's the point of it all?" What's the point of anything, anymore? There is no point right now, for me. Mom got pneumonia a couple days ago. (please don't let it be SARS) I spent a lot of time cooking and taking care of her. Then dad came and he cooked for us, so now I can catch up on the homework I couldn't do when I was taking care of Mom. Mom was really upset about getting sick (again). She was crying n everything. fuck it i can't deal with this shit. Anyway, I talked to Ms. Bodenhausen about my homework, and she said that I didn't have to explain, and that I should do my best to take my mind off such things. It was a relief to hear that, cos everybody's always told me that I shouldn't ignore mom's sickness and take it lightly, that I should think about what will happen in the future. I hold that the best way to get on with life is to ignore the things you have no control over and deal with your situation as best as you can, and I'm glad somebody finally told me to do that (and such an authoritive figure too; bah, i'm not making any sense to anyone except me) So, life sucks as always, and I can't do anything about it. Last week I nearly snapped twice, but I got myself under control. I don't like tears. I don't like it when people cry. I don't like it when I cry. Right now, I think all my conflicts would be gone if my aunt was here to take care of my mom, but bah, her application for a visa got rejected twice. I need to see about getting the district representative to do some casework. It might help my aunt get over here so I can be more free about choosing my life (alluding to college decisions specifically)

I'm pissed off about badminton. I've won most of my games so far, but we couldn't tie with Encinal for the league meet, which means when we play at the league meet, we won't have it easy. Bah, and I played so well yesterday too, twisted knee and all (against Richmond High - singles: 1st game-6/15, 2nd game-5/15 doubles: 1st game-0/15 2nd game 1/15). And because I played so hard yesterday, my knee is pretty fucked up now. It's the worst in the morning, when it's so painful I have to limp and put all my body weight on my right leg. I especially hate it when I have to climb up to the third floor.

I went and picked up GetBackers #1-3 that I ordered two weeks ago. I'm finding it hard to concentrate, cos I can't concentrate on anything right now. Pity, I'm sure under usual circumstances I'd enjoy it greatly. Demo, Saiyuki RELOAD arrives next week. Yay. ^^

Bah. Bah. Bah. Bah. Bah.

Oh yeah, sorry if I've been rude to anyone. I just don't want to talk right now. Leave me alone. I'll be fine in a while. ("in a while" <-- really not a definite period of time, could be anywhere between a couple of days to a couple of months) And I don't want you to ask me if I'm ok. The answer is so obvious I won't even deign to reply with the truth.

Am working on a story for Composition class. Is going to be a stranger, different, longer version of "The Frog Prince" as told by Grimm brothers. Is going to be good, I think. Is currently sucking. Will be Digimon-oriented...... -____-;;; I think that's about the only joy in life for me right now, creating stories. That's the only time my mind is completely elsewhere.

08:21 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Saturday, March 29, 2003
Playlist: 135 - Do As Infinity

Aaa, I forgot to mention: I got into UC Berkeley. I'm rather pleased, although I think deep down it wasn't really a surprise. Very deep down. Other people seem surprised, though.

So, only Dartmouth, Cornell, and Yale to go. I feel like I've been holding my breath, and after I found out from Cal, I've released that breath. I'm thinking that it won't really matter to me whether I get into Dartmouth, Cornell, or Yale, or not, because Berkeley was the one I was concerned about. Such a thing upon which to hinge my fate. Being accepted into Berkeley makes a big difference, because it means that I won't have to consider Davis or LA anymore. I'm having trouble deciding between Berkeley and Wellesley, though. It's all up to how healthy mom will be. But Wellesley is giving me almost full scholarship for the first year, and my parents seem to want me to go there... and Colin goes to MIT, which is, I guess, another factor.

I quit my job at Aaron Brothers today. That's another load off my chest.

05:47 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Friday, March 28, 2003
Playlist: [none]

I was going to have a long entry, because today I actually felt like it, but then something happened, and I'm semi-depressed/pissed off again. Whatever. You probably won't see me here for a while.

10:10 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Monday, March 24, 2003
Playlist: [none]

I'm not gonna talk today. There's a shitload of math waiting for me, as well as a lot of other stuff. *clenches hand* I think I've lost the use of my right arm... I couldn't play really well at practice today, and my legs were too stiff. I forsee a loss for tomorrow's game with Encinal. Bah.

09:22 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Monday, March 24, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Oh god! Oh god! It's here! It's finally here!! *hugs emailed calculus problem set* *runs off to copy answers*

XP
09:18 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Alright, I WAS having a good day. I was having a very good day, then mom just HAD to go and ruin it for me. She wanted me to write a short thank-you and message for my aunt+uncle who'd sent my birthday present early, but I haven't written Chinese in a long time, and I ask her to write the message out for me so I can copy it over again. She does that, but writes so illegibly that I have to ask her to rewrite some characters. Then she gets mad at me and tells me to look the words up in a dictionary. *throws up hands* I DON'T FRICKIN' KNOW WHERE THE CHINESE DICTIONARY IS?! And she's also bitching at me about how bad my handwriting is and how slowly I'm writing the words. Arrggghhh!!

Ok, think "good day", "good day"... I had two dreams last night. In the first one, I was surrounded by a lot of people with swords, and I was facing an excellent swordsman with a sword in my own hand. It was some kind of duel to the death. I fought like hell for my life, while people around us cheered on and poked at me with their swords whenever I stepped outside of a previously agreed boundary. The dream ended when a feverish bout of swordplay snapped my blade, and the swordsman lowered his sword and stepped back, and the people around us began cheering because the swordsman had managed to end the duel in a way that didn't end in me getting killed, but rather in him facing a weaponless opponent, which wouldn't have been "chivalrous", or something. I woke up around there, and my heart was pounding as if I'd just won a hard badminton match. It was an exciting dream. I think it was a combination of playing against Yonatan and Berry in doubles at badminton practice yesterday, as well as reading the holmgang section in Kushiel's Dart before I went to bed. It was around 5 when I woke up from that dream.

The second dream wasn't as nice. I dreamt that a butterfly alighted on the shank of a puppy, and the puppy became paranoid and attacked a different butterfly, thinking it was the one on its back, and gnawed it and pawed at it and basically tore that poor butterfly to pieces. And I was pulling at the puppy's neck, trying to get it to open its jaws and release the butterfly. I didn't succeed. *shudder* It was horrible. The puppy was horrible. I hate little kids...

We played Pinole Valley today, at their school. I won my singles and doubles game. It was boring. Pinole's guys are really good though. Men's Singles #1 and #2 both lost to Pinole Valley. *shrug* But, in the end, we won the game, so, eh.

I don't think I've mentioned this, but I got my voter registration card a couple of weeks ago. I can't vote, ever, but it was still pretty exciting.

*sigh* I want to talk, but it's almost 9:30 p.m., so topics of interest will have to wait until another day. Oh well, tomorrow we play Maria Carille, the school whose players ran the Encinal players until they broke their Achilles tendons. *fang* I'm very excited. I'm not placing too much hopes on my singles game, but I think my partner Cindy and I have a good chance at doubles, mostly because the only people we've been practicig against lately have been Yonatan and Berry. 2 males against 2 females aren't too good odds for the girls, but we did manage to win a game, out of 5. Also, we have more experience against strong opponents this way, so whatever girl opponents can dish out, we can match. Playing against Yonatan and Berry is fun. For Cindy, it sharpens her reflexes, since she's plays front. For me, it allows me to practice running from one side of the court to the other, and doing the same to my oppenent. Also, I love seeing how long people can run from side to side before they miss my shot *fangfang* My passing shots and high clears have been getting a lot better as a result of playing against Yonatan and Berry. Oh. I just realized. They're men's doubles #1, and we're women's doubles #1. Except we're not supposed to be evenly matched like this (due to differences in sex, no matter how sexist that might sound). *grin* Wheee, playing them is so fun. I should practice singles, though. I'm starting to lose my single's skills.

*smile* Sunday. Birthday. Eighteen. Yay. Kauru-chan says she got me vol. 2 of Weiss, the manga thingy. >__> I'm sure I'll love it... *cough* yes. Although I do really want Backgammon *cough*andSaltyDog*cough*. Or, Lara Fabian's French CD would be nice, any one of them. Or EXILE's albums. Or Core of Soul's albums. *smile* Oh. I reread the label for my meds, and it says that I can't drink while I'm taking the medicine. Aw shucks. There goes my daily glass of zinfandel... =(

08:54 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Sunday, March 16, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Today was a rare day. I had the house to myself, not too much homework, and it was alternately sunny and shady outside, my favorite kind of weather for a Sunday. A couple of days ago my mom'd shoved all the junk on my table into a big Ross bag and had threatened in my ear this morning as I lay in bed more than half asleep, that if I didn't sort the bag out today, then she'd throw its contents out in the evening. It was a good motive for cleaning my room today.

So, I spent the morning cleaning my room, cleaning myself, and then cleaning out the contents of the fridge. There wasn't much in it, actually, so I just had some noodles. Korean noodles. Korean hot, spicy, killed-my-sore-throat noodles. I also aired the house out by opening every window and watched a squirrel climbing up the neighbor's house. That occupied my attention for about ten minutes. My cat was also watching it. Together, we managed to make the squirrel very nervous. It kept on looking down at us from where it was perched on a section of the pipes. Then I succumbed to the calling of Kushiel's Dart, starting in my chair in front of the computer in the living room and eventually meandering to my bed with a fat pillow to lean on. I consumed two oranges and a glass of white zinfandel while I read the book. Dad called me a couple of times throughout the day, wondering if I had time to go visit him. I told him I would after I finished my math homework, but never got around to calculus, as KD was too good to put down. On Friday, I'd gotten the impression that the hw was hard. It wasn't. I finished it under half an hour (not counting the time I spent studying the book). All in all, it was a relaxing day, the first in a long time. Except for around 2 in the afternoon I suddenly got so dizzy I could barely walk without putting a hand out to steady myself. It felt like morphine-induced dizziness. XP It was bad. I'm still kinda dizzy now.

I've been thinking in the last 48 hours, and thus far my thoughts have remained in the abstract, although I'm not sure that's a good thing. But then again, I'm also not sure if extending my thoughts to my surroundings would be too good a thing either. Either way, I've been thinking, and while usually I would share my thoughts here, I find that increasingly my thoughts would be dissected in the open, by mouth, especially when they have to do with me and the people immediately around me. Therefore, I'm disinclined to share those thoughts right now. Mostly because my mom has decided to set a computer curfew at 9:30 p.m. for most days, and right now there's only 20 minutes left before 9:30. The topics of my thoughts were: clarity, precision, people, distance due to college, and pessissism vs. optimism. That is all that shall be disclosed at the present.

08:41 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Playlist: [none]

There's just something about this book. I've read it five times (i think) now. And I'm purusing it again in leisure. I'm also reading Mort, but Kushiel's Dart calls like a siren, while DEATH and Terry Pratchett tugs insistently. And Kushiel's Avatar comes out in April~~ *sighes happily*

Oh, I forgot something. I dropped by Barnes and Noble yesterday to see if they were hiring. They weren't, but I could submit an application to be reviewed when they were. Then I said that it was for the summer, and the man said "oh" and immediately handed me an application.

11:12 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Um, so, I come home from work today, and Mom pokes fun at me by telling me I didn't get into UC Davis. I say "ha-ha" and look at the letter of congratulations. Yay, I got into my backup.

Mathematically, the probability of 3 out of 3 is low. I only applied to 3 UCs...

@___@ ugghh... when will this sore throat of mine go away... and the dizziness... and the headache... oh wait, the last two are sideaffects... *reaches for bottle of Advil*

Take your time with the characterization talk.

Vinita, I think there's something wrong with your blog. >__> Have you been sick?

*clutches head in pain*
10:15 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Friday, March 14, 2003
Playlist: Immortelle - Lara Fabian

Ack. >_< >_> <_< I want to scream. I want to yell. I want to laugh. I want to cry. I need to breathe. I feel like I'm going to explode (and not just from that big sandwich I had this afternoon either). Do you know what today was? Do you FRICKIN' KNOW WHAT TODAY WAS?? Today was the first day I got any sort of official reply from any one of the 8 colleges I'd applied to. Today UCLA posted admissions decisions online after 4:00 p.m. I missed it at 4:00 p.m. because I was reading a Terry Pratchett book (Mort, if you must know). I totally forgot about it until I saw Hai at the library and he reminded me. And then I couldn't check because all the library computers were full. I didn't get to check until after 5:00 p.m. My heart was doing weird flip-flops the entire time. I don't know why, but at one point I felt like crying. Maybe it was just my future looming in my face (complete with a slitted twisting snake tongue and a demonic visage) that scared me. My heart is still doing weird flip-flops now. It's getting kinda hard to breath this way... >___> I was out of breath during my entire trip back home from the library. I'm still kinda out of breath now.

Btw, I got in. I won't even psychoanalyze it.

... and all my parents could say were, "oh". And in my dad's case, some incoherent grumbling over the phone before coming to terms with something and congratulating me formally, then asking me when do I find out from UC Berkeley. My mom just kinda looked at me, said, "That's good" and went back to whatever she was doing. At least she refrained from asking about Berkeley. (except that's because she KNOWS when Cal posts decisions, so she doesn't NEED to ask) I guess it was right to quarantine my excitement after all. I called Maryam, but then I remembered that she was in LA for a Key Club thing. In fact that only person who knows outside of my parents is Ivy, so far.

-__-

I spent the entire day working on three scholarships that had to go out today. I also got my next weekend work hours cleared up with my boss so I can spent time with my friends for my birthday. All I have to do is call in that morning. And I was sick too, ever since last night. I want to sleep now. *slumps over*

Oh, one last thing. Some official news are in order, I think. Mom is on permanent disability. It doesn't pay very much. There's blood vessel blockage in her right retina, and the condition lasted for more than 8 days before she went to see a doctor, so now she's lost her vision in her right eye. She's still on chemotherapy. It hurts like hell. And oh yeah, she got diabetes a few months ago and has to give herself shots on a regular basis.

like dark chocolate - bitter and sweet and leaves a weird taste in your mouth
07:48 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Thursday, March 13, 2003
Playlist: Immortelle - Lara Fabian

Just had AIM convo with Joe. Am now SO FRICKIN' CONFUSED!!! ARGGHHHH!!
Ambiancelve: alright ..finally someone intelligent comes on
I don't feel very intelligent anymore, Joe. I hate it when I can't see the face of the person I'm talking to. It's so hard to know when they're serious and when they're mad and when they're joking. It's like a sixth sense taken away.

someone explain it to me please
09:48 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
Playlist: Immortelle - Lara Fabian

I've been online for 4 hours, and "Immortelle" has finally decided to DL itself. Joy to the world. I like Lara Fabian's voice enough to want to give French lyrics a try. "Immortelle" is pretty.

"Si perdue dans le ciel
Ne me restait qu'une aile
Tu serais celle-là
Si traînant dans mes ruines
Ne brillait rien qu'un fil
Tu serais celui-là
Si oubliée des dieux
J'échouais vers une île
Tu serais celle-là
Si même l'inutile
Restait le seuil fragile
Je franchirais le pas
Refrain
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai le sentiment d'être celle
Qui survivra à tout ce mal
Je meurs de toi
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai décroché un bout de ciel
Il n'abritait plus l'éternel
Je meurs de toi
Si les mots sont des traces
Je marquerai ma peau
De ce qu'on ne dit pas
Pour que rien ne t'efface
Je garderai le mal
S'il ne reste que ça
On aura beau me dire
Que rien ne valait rien
Tout ce rien est à moi
A quoi peut me servir
De trouver le destin
S'il ne mène pas à toi?
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai le sentiment d'être celle
Qui survivra à tout ce mal
Je meurs de toi
Immortelle, immortelle
J'ai déchiré un bout de ciel
Il n'abritait plus l'éternel
Je meurs de toi
Je meurs de toi...
Refrain."

ahh, I'd take up singing and French again just to be able to sing this song~ Hee, if Jennifer was saavy, she'd whip out her French-English dictionary right now to look those words up.

10:43 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Playlist: Romeo and Juliet - Tchaikovsky

There's just something about my mom's nighttime lotion that wriggles its way up my nose and runs straight into the pain receptors in my head. BOOM here comes a migraine. I hate it SO much! And considering I was the one who bought her that lotion. She uses it every night. Without fail. When she walks past, the lotion smell positively wafts into the room after her, permeating my skull whether I want it to or not. It's painful for me. Feels like someone poked a sharp stick into my brain first, then the pain fades slightly to a dull throb. Oh great, my eyes are starting to hurt now. In a couple of minutes the bridge of my nose will start hurting.

Owwowowowowow...
11:27 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Playlist: The Tower - Vienna Teng

A lot of shit has happened lately. Not like BOOM happened, but more like sneaking into my life bit by bit. I don't feel like complaining about it, but it's bad, and what I suspected last winter that might happen this spring has finally happened. Anyway. There are things wrong with other people too, but right now I'm too busy with my own problems to help them. At least I feel it's like that. I feel sorry for it, but I can't help it any right now. I have my own life to think of, my own shit to deal with, and sometimes I just can't dredge up enough emotions to properly sympathize with others. Even my own "I'm upset because of blah blah blah" is buried under mountains of dumbness and apathy. I try not to think of it. On the surface level, I'm still concerned about different things, like my grades, other people's problems, Vinita's sickness, college applications, etc., so that probably means that I haven't completely retreated into my own little world yet.

... and you know? Sometimes I completely forget that my friends read this blog. -___-;;

We had our first game of the season this year, despite not having practiced very much. Our first opponent was Kennedy High, one of the toughest schools in our league. I was worried, because I didn't feel like I was in shape, but... god, I'm so disappointed by today's game. They sucked so much. All of their good players graduated, so it left them in the same position as our team, but at least we have good underclassmen. I won both my singles and doubles matches, even though I ran three laps around the field before the game and my legs were hurting. It was really boring. For the second game of the doubles match, I just quit trying, because our opponents weren't taking the game seriously. I'm looking forward to playing Richmond High, Encinal High, and Maria Carillie. The last one isn't in our league, so it's a practice match, but I heard stories about their players at NCS, how both their singles players ran the Encinal singles players back and forth the court until both broke their Achilles tendon... O__o that's really scary. I also hear that they're all tall, white, and are impossible to win against... >__< I don't want to break my Achilles tendon, but I don't want to lose either...

(Ooohhh oooh, WinMX finally started DLing "Romeo and Juliet" by Tchaikovsky~~~ but I'm still 16th in line for the West Side Story Suite... ;__;)

I had a doctor's appointment in the middle of the day today. There's something wrong with my toenails. I love my pediatrician a lot. She's really cool. Today, when she looked at my foot, she also looked at my left ear where I had shingles last year. When she was prescribing medicine for me, she said, "With you it's always the diseases that I have to look up." XD XD She dragged out this huge medicinal dictionary for reference on how to take the drug she was prescribing me. Then she wasn't sure about whether to have me start on 1 gram per day (2 doses) or 500 mg per day (1 dose), and she said that there were a lot of side effects to the drug, Griseofulvin, then rattled off a long list of side effects (most of which I couldn't quite catch). Included were increased sensitivity to light, dizziness, mild insomnia, nausea, diarrhea (or other stomach problems), fatigue, headaches, and mental confusion. I did a double-take when she mentioned the last one.

me: mental confusion??
my doctor: *nods* uh huh. Mental confusion.
me: *waits for her to expand*
doctor: *keeps nodding* yep, mental confusion.
me: O__o what does that MEAN?
doctor: ......

-__- fortunately, she decided to start me off on 500 mg a day, so the chances of aforementioned side effects are low... I have an annual checkup in May, and she says that depending on blood test results she might increase my dosage... -.- "mental confusion" here I come. There's also some confusion as to whether or not I'm completely healed of shingles, but that's quite a different matter. I don't think my doctor knows for sure either. Shingles isn't covered very extensivly in pediatrics, I'm sure, because the disease usually occurs in people 'of a certain age, and because it doesn't usually manifest itself in the very upper body. Anyway, mom took me out to lunch afterwards, so today was the first time in days when I wasn't feeling constantly hungry. Mmmhmm, curry chicken... oh wait, that was mom's lunch. I'm glad that I'm not gaining any weight from all this food I've been consuming like crazy. Thank god for badminton practice.

...and damn I have math homework and scholarship applications to fill out... There's also a chocolate calcium chew with my name on it, if I don't want to break my legs. Mmmhmm, chocolate...

08:50 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Playlist: Arcadia - Escaflowne

I had a journal before I had a blog, and almost every entry I'd start by apologizing for not having written in a long time. Well, I'm not going to do that here and now, because it's only been three days since I looked at my blog, even if it felt like an eternity. I've been busy. When I have more news, I might expand on that comment.

UCLA posts admissions in *checks time* three days. -_______- ahhh... I feel kinda nervous, even if I don't plan on going either way. My future is looming in my face with a scary leer. *whimper* Somebody help me~

I don't feel so hot. In fact, I haven't felt healthy all day today. My walk was unsteady, I kept on having mild headaches, and every once in a while I can feel my throat closing up. And worst of all, I'm HUNGRY! No matter how much I eat, I still want more. I mean, I can feel my stomach getting full, but my brain is still telling me that I want to eat. Is my bodily feedback mechanism not working as it should? I'm feeling very very gluttonous. My tastes buds are crying out for more. Mmmnn, current craving, grilled chicken sandwich. This afternoon, I found myself madly wishing for a fresh green salad with goat cheese and parmesan italiano dressing, with little croutons. I don't even LIKE salad and I wanted one. I wanted one so badly I could almost taste the goat cheese crumbling and melting on the tip of my tongue, hear the crunch of fresh greens, and feel my mouth water at the thought of sour salad dressing. And watch, tomorrow I'll be craving celery (I HATE celery...). This can't be good for me.

12:44 a.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Monday, March 10, 2003
Playlist: Out of Orbit - T.M. Revolution

First, I'd like to take a moment to wallow a bit in Lalaland. She apparently read my blog. *___* I feel very flattered.

Anyway, about the things Whitecat talked about, I can understand silliness being shrugged off more easily in art than in stories, and that's probably one of the harder things about writing. You don't have the same leeway with characters in writing than you do in art, so it's that much harder to write a story/fanfiction and keep your character in as realistic situation as possible (or at least, keeping in step with logic). When I stick my fingers into the mass of horror that is FF.net, I usually tend to pull out stories that have great potential, plot-wise, but make absolutely no sense, or the characters are too OOC. But more often than not I keep reading because I keep on hoping that the writing will get better, or at the very least the author will get some common sense slapped into her. Of course, I finish the story with somewhat of a bad taste in my mouth. Take that story I was talking about before, the one that started with Koumyou/Kouryuu. I actually really like Sanzo/Goku (I like most canon couplings). I mean, I stood in the bookstore for over an hour reading and rereading Gaiden, and sparkling over the meaningful Konzen/Goku interaction which leads to Goku's obsession with Sanzo later on. Not much can convince me that they're wrong. But the story with Koumyou/Kouryuu... *shudder* it made the Sanzo/Goku relationship all wrong. When I read Saiyuki, I don't get the sense of shotakon that I get from the fanfic because Goku is really not that young. The fic made Sanzo a little too... er, amorous, touchy-feely. Sanzo always struck me as the "look but don't touch" type, the sort who'd roll away after a good tumble, instead of cuddling, so the touchy little love scene rather sickened me. XP Argh, you had to have read the fic to understand what grossed me out. And I'd still avoid Sanzo/Goku lemons, not because I don't like them, but because as a rule I generally avoid lemons between couplings that I really like. Lemons that are tastefully done, however, and part of a bigger story, are fine, I think.

Another topic, AUs. I personally really really like AUs. I mean, there's often only so much you can write about using canon settings, whereas if you booted the characters into a different world, all sorts of things could happen. The Winner family will only have so many 'in the mountains somewhere' mansions that the GW pilots can hide out in while the story takes place god-knows-when during the war. From the way some of the stories go on, it makes the war seem way longer than it actually is. I'm picky about details like that, especially time-wise. If you're going to write something, making sure that realistically it'll fit within a certain time frame, and that culture, customs, and way of speech fits as well. I fairly bristle when I see a character who supposedly live in the so-called 'ancient times' (aka time before now that is not to be defined) say stuff like "Way cool" or "what's up my man". Anyway, one of my favorite kinds of AUs are ones that take characters with distinct technological background and shoving them into a magical setting, or vice versa. In other words, I like stories where the characters have to adapt. I like to see character evolution.

Well, I have to concede that Goku does act his age more than once. That time after losing to Kami, however, does stick out in my mind the most. There are lot of different theories regarding the stages of maturity, most of them starting with a simple thought process of "crime=punishment=bad for self" and moving up to higher levels with thought processes of ideals, personal values vs. punishment/reward. I think that's a lot of bull, mostly because if the world fit to those psychological models, then people would act with the utmost maturity, and at the same time, the lowest and most selfish type of maturity. I see Goku as someone who thinks like that. A lot of people confuse 'simple' with 'stupid', which is probably the case with Goku. And from 'stupid', it's an easy jump to 'weepy', 'defenseless', and 'uke'. It might be true that Goku takes advantage of being able to nag at Sanzo without looking down the barrel of his trusty Smith & Wesson, but I really think that's more because Goku's been with Sanzo longer and has figured out that no matter what he does, Sanzo would probably never carry out his threat and actualy kill him. I just don't think that Goku is that subtle. And on a side note, I haven't been able to find any good Sanzo/Goku fics. The only thing I've ever read that held promise was a teaser for a Saiyuki/Gravitation cross by Madam Hydra.

(Another thing, I only skimmed the paragraph WhiteCat write about AUs, so it's a coincidence that I said pretty much the same thing.)

Ugh. I need Gaiden and RELOAD... I need it bad.

11:35 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Friday, March 7, 2003
Playlist: [none]

*peers* Is that... the Sandma- *konks out*

zzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ

01:15 a.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Friday, March 7, 2003
Playlist: The Real Folk Blues - Vitaminless [Cowboy Bebop ED]

Balanced. You accept your emotions as normal and
are not overly happy nor depressed. You are
emotionally balanced and should find peace in
the way you deal with life situations. Your
emotions are normal and well understood. You
see the light in the dark.

How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Oh yes, I'm just a fucking Yin Yang sign, aren't I?

01:02 a.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Thursday, March 6, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Maa, this is a REALLY GOOD Saiyuki fic. It's rare to find a gem amongst the dung heap that is fanfiction.net, but this is definitely a gem. One of the best Kenren/Tenpou, Gojyo/Hakkai (and a little mix and match) fics I've ever read. The story is... well, the best way I can describe it is that it's seductive. The author really knows Saiyuki inside and out (not like a lot of the fans who take the story and run with it). The characters are well represented, which is a biggie with a series like Saiyuki, where so many things are implied but nothing ever really goes beyond implication, especially when it comes to personalities. When I read fics where Sanzo suddenly becomes open with his feelings, Goku becomes smart or depressed, Gojyo stops his bad habits, etc. etc. etc. (the list goes on forever), I'm really annoyed. For example, one of the stories I found started out with Koumyou Sanzo/Kouryuu (Sanzo before he became a Sanzo), which freaked me out badly. O___o I've always thought of Koumyou as a father figure... oh my poor ravaged brain. And then later on in the fic, Sanzo turns around and does the same thing to Goku. It's just... *shudder* wrong! Especially since Koumyou was killed when Kouryuu was... ah, I dunno how old he was, but he was pretty damn young. It goes BEYOND shotakon, because Koumyou looked like he was in his thirties, and Kouryuu wasn't even into his adolescence. In fact, I think Sanzo was in his late teens when he released Goku (cos in the flashback at the end of vol. 7, when Goku lost his bird friend, and Sanzo 'hears' him for the first time, Sanzo looked pretty young). Which means Sanzo isn't that much older than Goku, physically looking, even though Goku is 500+. On a side note, I will personally avoid ANY Sanzo/Goku lemons. Eww. The only time I ever felt Goku mentally acted his age was when they barely escaped Kami with their lives and everyone was depressed/pissed off/disturbed, and Goku... well, Goku was just kickass then. That's what I'd imagine a mentally aged Goku to be.

Anyway, I'd thought that a good Saiyuki fic couldn't exist, but I was wrong, and I'm happy that I'm wrong. I hope I will continue to be wrong. The thing with Saiyuki is that it's so perfect in its imaging, its vision, and the characters are so intricate and rich in history and personality (even if a lot of it IS heavily implied). And because it's such a good series, it's hard to do anything to it without stepping outside some sort of intangible domain.

10:23 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Wednesday, March 5, 2003
Playlist: My All - To Destination

School is pointless, people are pointless, life is pointless. Everything is so fucking boring. I sit around all day twiddling my thumbs waiting for something exciting to happen. Even if I went seeking, I won't find what I'm looking for. It's past time for a change of scenes. I went to all my classes today, and I think I can do that tomorrow too. Made up an anatomy test that I barely studied for. I think a 28/33 is pretty good for not studying. It certainly was a lot of fricking guess work on my part, based on the individual components of words and what I vaguely from my notes from last week (stuff like 'hypoglycemia', hypo-low, glycemia-sugar in blood). I guess some things do stick in my short-term memory longer than the average five minutes. I think I'm developing some variation of ADD. Fuck it. I need to be amused. Someone amuse me. and out the window goes the belief that I'm easily amused, since I'm in a contradictory mood Although, I think I lower my standards to keep myself occupied with life, i.e. laugh at jokes that aren't really that funny, because not laughing would be likeing killing myself slowly with a deflated balloon. Also, I don't really like superior attitudes in anyone, even myself.

Ah well, there's that ol' wanderlust making itself apparent again, and over the years it's somehow managed to adapt itself to things other than travel. Sometimes I think about my behavior, my constant search for 'something interesting', and I begin to doubt my loyalty to my life. Once in a while, when mom gets really angry at me (usually when I did something stupid/wrong/totally inane), she yells at me that I only know how to use people. And when I think about it, I find that it is true to a certain aspect. I use others to alleviate my own boredom, and when I'm done I move on. Eric Ericson had theories about different stages of human life, and the adolescence stage is about identity, about the adolescent seeking a place to which s/he belongs, defines their values, etc., and I wonder if that applies to me, neo-Freudian that I am. I'd like to think that I am just trying to find my own world, something like what they have on the TV show Friends. I had three best friends when I was in kindergarten who I played with exclusively. We were all different, one was fat, one was skinny, one was like me. The third one was my best friend out of the posse. Perhaps had we all stayed together, we would have drifted apart eventually, but those few years were... perfect. I had it, then I lost it, and couldn't get it back, so I moved on and hoped to recreate it. Mom also says I'm manipulative, but I hope that's only on a subconscoius level, because I couldn't forgive myself if I was consciously manipulating who I call "my friends". In fact, I can barely stand the fact that I might be subconsciously manipulative (despite my probable like for it, I mean, people games are so frickin' fun! >__> but maybe that's just a power/control thing that everyone has), because on a certain level, I'm too damn nice a person. And I WANT to be nice. Vicious things just slip out occasionally. Slight flaw in my character, I suppose. But anyway, back to the manipulation and using people bit. I'd like to believe that me drifting from friend to friend is really just a futile search for a place where I can belong. It's not like people are toys that I play with and discard after I'm done (god I hope I'm not subconsciouly that vicious), because although I don't remain close anymore, doesn't mean that I don't still like them. They're just not... my clustermates anymore. One of the reasons I drift away in the first place is that no matter how much fun someone is, or how well I click with them, I eventually discover something about that person that I dislike. One's character cannot be determined by what they say they'll do, but by how they act in a certain situation. And when said situation arises, how former clustermates react has always managed to rub me the wrong way (thus me drifting away surely but slowly). And after that, all the flaws that I've managed to blind myself to just start popping out at me.

And having said all that, I should probably try to redeem myself. I realize it's wrong to 'test' people like this and giving up on them when one thing doesn't go my way. Makes me seem like a willful spoilsport, but I'm adaptable. I wouldn't toss away a friend just because we held different views on certain issues. It's the small stuff like how they treat other people, how they treat life, how they deal with certain situations, that matters. I can only stay loyal to things/people that I can condone. It has to do with my values, I suppose. I couldn't be friends with someone who didn't respect my values and beliefs. All of this may make me seem like I don't form everlasting friendships, but that's not true either. The few close friends that I have are exceptional people, completely worthy, and even if they do have little flaws, they're ones that I don't mind. Like Maryam, like Jean. They're the two I can rattle off of the top of my mind. Maryam, because despite everything different between us, we manage our friendship pretty well (better, in fact, than I would have thought myself capable) and I can't really imagine not being friends with her (yeah, maybe I'm taking her for granted). And Jean, because... well... she's been around forever, longer than Maryam, and I can't imagine her not there either. In the end, it's really down to whether I hurt people when I 'manipulate' them, if they notice it, and whether I can make a conscious effort to stop an unconscious gesture. Also, I'm not sure that I don't completely enjoy sitting back, give a little nudge here, a little shove there, and watch drama unfold before me (because I'm constantly seeking something interesting). So, the shrill of the mind game, versus being plain ol' nice and predictable and boring... hmm, I think we have a winner here. And stemming from that conclusion, I probably am manipulative, as per my warped logic. But still, I wouldn't do it if it hurt anyone. Consciously. After all, the super-ego cannot control the id.

once again, proving that i'm truly twisted on some deeper level
11:13 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Tuesday, March 4, 2003
Playlist: Your Eyes Only - EXILE

HERE! The two albums are "Our Style" and "Styles of Beyond". *sigh* yes, I know it's expensive, I'm trying to find the cheap Taiwanese versions... except I have a feeling they don't exist... yet...

*drools over EXILE official site*
10:48 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Tuesday, March 4, 2003
Playlist: Distance - hikki

I! WANT! EXILE'S!! NEW ALBUM!! "STYLES OF BEYOND"!!! VERY BADLY!! and the first album, "Our Style", at that... *hint for anyone who's still wondering what to get me for my birthday*

10:30 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Tuesday, March 4, 2003
Playlist: Amethyst Remembrance - Yami no Matsuei

Sheesh, people freak out so much when I skip school. Either that, or they find it really funny. _o_ I have such a bad case of senioritis though. I probably should go to 0th period tomorrow. So early... Thank god I always have Rebecca's notes to copy when I miss class, although I'm going to have to do something about that test I missed on the endocrine system.

08:21 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Monday, March 3, 2003
Playlist: Oni to Sakura - Pierrot

*whine* it's cold... and why can't music download itself faster?

On the other hand, read Legend of Galactic Heroes chapter two today (damn that update is slow). *___* ish shhooo good...

07:49 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Monday, March 3, 2003
Playlist: Princess Mononoke Theme Song

I'm pretty sure that developing a twitch under one eye isn't a good thing. Oh please go away...

Oh, it was Senior Skip Day today, 03-03-03, see? I was surprised when Matt came into Ms. Bled's room in second period today (where I was *cough*skipping*cough* doing homework), then Jonah appeared in the doorway with a bottle in a brown bag, and they talked about when they were going to go get drunk. >__> Matt said, "Yeah, my house, after 3rd." because 3rd was Ms. Bodenhausen's class. I heard that someone superglued pennies to the courtyard in the shape of 03, but by the time I'd got up to the courtyard it was all gone.

Remind myself to DL music of:
Porno Graffiti
Mr.Children
See-Saw

*___* Did I mention? I got the Princess Mononoke OST. It's very pretty. I like very much. I'm happy that my .25 purchase was worth it.

07:27 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Monday, March 3, 2003
Playlist: Breathe - Luna Sea

Um... something that popped into my head as I tried to fill the scroll length requirements...er, page number requirements for Composition:

The call had come late afternoon, jarring him out of a doze on the living room couch. The last room in the new house was finally furnished, and would Mr. Smithson please come approve it before they terminated the contract? When he had arrived, one of the workers had simply handed him the key to the front door, and told him that a new house should be enjoyed by the owner alone.

He let his fingers trace the outline of the light switch before flicking the lights on, in this last room that had taken so long to complete. The wallpaper had been delayed for weeks, and now it didn't really matter anymore.

The wallpaper had been picked out months ago, a pattern of dancing bears and clowns blowing little trumpets. In the store it had looked bright and cheery, just the sort, Mrs.Smithson said, to decorate a nursery with. He hadn't quite understood why, although he did agree that it was exactly something you would find in a baby's room. Now, in the wan and yellow light of the room, the wallpaper looked aged. The clowns weren't as jolly and lively as he remembered, and the bears weren't even that cute, even with the silly-looking party hats on their heads.

He closed his eyes and saw, imprinted on the back of his eyelids, the bundle the nurse had carried out of the delivery room, quiet and still as no newborn baby should be, and heard again, the regretful words of the doctor, "I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Smithson..." A nursery isn't useful if there is no baby to occupy it. He would call them tomorrow and tell them to refurnish the room as a den, or a guestroom. Perhaps one of the nice floral designs his wife had been so keen on. The nursery was no longer appropriate, nor necessary. No baby would need these laughing clowns and dancing bears.

Um... yes, I wrote that. Beware, that's the kind of things I tend to spout in my mind when I don't feel well, and I don't know why I don't feel well.

these sad sad clowns and bears
06:54 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Monday, March 3, 2003
Playlist: [none]

Oh dear...

05:23 p.m.

When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
Saturday, March 1, 2003
Playlist: [none]

making random noises at each other

KuroiTsubasaKei: mn
MikkaTsuki: eh?
KuroiTsubasaKei: ah
MikkaTsuki: nyo
KuroiTsubasaKei: nya
MikkaTsuki: nyaaaaaaauuuuuuuuu~~~ X3!!!
KuroiTsubasaKei: no daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
MikkaTsuki: dadada!!!
KuroiTsubasaKei: BIKKIT!!
MikkaTsuki: wait no...shin dadada!!!
KuroiTsubasaKei: waannnaaaBIKKITbikkitNOWNOWNOW!!!!
MikkaTsuki: you sound like a dog in pain *lol*

The "BIKKIT!!" part is from Thief of Time.

10:26 p.m.